the situation is a little unclear...

There's a phenomina in my life that I have come to love. It's a feeling I get when life, in any of many forms, finds a way to say "Alisa, I love you honey. Now quit yer bitching and get your ass in gear." Sometimes it's a horoscope in the paper, telling me to get over it and get on with it. Sometimes it's a "random" stranger in Thailand, who just listened to me fire off for the last half hr, asking me "So, what you are gaining from hanging onto and playing victim to a bad, old relationship?" Sometimes it is allowing myself to cross over a land border, into an new and unexplored country, only to have my unsuspecting ass handed to me. Idiotic, rookey-tourist mistakes abound, result in spending twice the money to accomplish half the goals in twice the time and a quarter of the comfort. It's an inevitable part of travel. You will make a handful of mistakes upon entering any new country, even your own, before you get your feet under you. Best you take it w/ a good laugh, a shake of your head, and follow up w/ thorough indulgence in the regions finest offerings for beer. Current Primary Advantage: Making these mistakes in Asia, will likely put you out only a small portion of the cash amount you would have lost in America.

The truth is, none of these thing are experiences I would omit. I love them at the same that I hate them. I find myself indulging in the delicious enthusiasm of cussing and swinging my way through it, pissed off that I am indeed playing the victim, paying the high price because I didn't look further, or losing out on a hot shower (and everything else that requires electricity) that I just paid DOUBLE the room fee to have, because the gerbals that run the town generator, fall off their wheels from an exhausting 2 hr sprint around 8:30 p.m. to be resumed... tomorrow evening. Awesome. I had no idea and I love this shit. I love life being handed out in blatant, unpadded doses of experience that have no regard for my opinions, complaints or concerns. Get in. Hold on. Sit down. Shut up. Oh and P.S. Here's paradise. Can you see it yet?

Welcome to Laos, land of...well, in two days, mass amounts of incredibly persistent, yet infuriatingly vague directions but great curry, expensive food but cheep beer, hrs I didn't know existed in a day, spent sitting on benches I didn't know could be made that fucking hard and uncomfortable, laughing, eating, cussing and wondering what in the hell we are doing and how in the hell are we getting there. Welcome to Laos...where the hell is my bike?

They call it the "Slow Boat to Luang Probang". A rockin' hit w/ the tourists...who never return to warn the next wave of lemmings. Swerve (for his personal approach to hill climbs) and I, we're not in Kansas any more. That little fact came crashing down on my head around 9 p.m. last night, after a solid 8 hr day of tailbone-splitting boat ride down the Mekong, ending in my mad dash for lodging, along side the other 200 recently released passengers, while James held back, fending for his theoretical rights to carry his own damned luggage and bikes up the 45 degree angle sand dune, that doubles as a loading dock. I returned from room scouting 20 min later, to find James in the pitch dark, perched precariously on the side of afore mentioned sand dune, refusing to move another step, while a family of 5 Loa hovered inches away.

"I can't make a move w/ the bikes w/out them following me up the hill w/ luggage and then insisting that I pay more. I told them my wife has all the money and haven't moved since."

Ha! While even joking about being married still makes me squirm, I revel in the fact that I am apparently the one who wears the financial pants in this relationship...at least for the next five minutes.

"30,000 Kip." Says one voice in the dark. Equivelant to appx. 3 USD.

"No. I will not give you 30,000 Kip. I give you 10,000 and no more help. Stop helping, okay?"

"Okay. Khap jai."

"Khap jai."

Great. One thing down, only an ever increasing number of new things to learn, to go. We take turns holding the torch, while the other shoves paniers onto anything that will hold them for the next 1 km climb out of the sand pit loading dock to the guest house, passing rows of candle lit shops and restaurants...should have been my first clue, CANDLES=NO ELECTRICITY. Whatever, all I can think about is how hot and sweaty I am, how good a shower will feel and how good Beer Lao-the new and fabulous discovery of huge, cheap bottles of icey cold goodness-will taste. Shower on hold, dinner and beer call. 20:45, we roll back to the g.h. and a black-out. Ha! The entire village is swamped w/ white tourists asking the same three questions: "what did you pay for a room?" "What happened to the lights?" and "What time does the boat leave in the morning?" We all know what we paid. The range is as broad as the selection of languages the questions are asked in. As for the lights and departure time? Well, the situation is a little unclear.

Somehow, we all make it to the boat in the morning, now sporting what appears to be twice the original number of passengers. Sweet. I find myself crawling into the lap of a 23 yr old Dutch girl everytime someone needs to use the stair I have claimed as my seat, en route to the increasingly stanky and soggy bathroom at the back of the boat. Beer Lao is flowing faster than the Mekong by half day, though a little less by a few partiers from day 1 who are looking like life hurts them...very badly at the moment. 10 hrs for the impatient fools looking to claim "real" seats, and 8 hrs for the fools who load last (because they insist on toting their bicycles around which require "official" boat crew members for roof loading), Luang Probang comes into focus. Yippppeeeeeeee!!!!

It's dark but we're in good spirits, every guest house w/ reasonable prices is full. Hmmmm. It takes us an hr, but we square one away and head out for internet, good food and good beer. Yes! This is a town aimed at the useless pleasantries of Western tourists...and I am enjoying the hell out of it at the moment. Swerve (who I have officially deemed my brother, as of coffee round 2 this morning) and I are reveling in the notion of wasting a little time, money and calories here for the next day or two, before setting out for Vientiene, riding S. through a nice chunk of N. Laos. Soooooooooooooo looking forward to being back on my bike. Little rides over the last few days make me miss the saddle and the feeling of travel on self-propelled wheels. I think I'm hooked.

I hear nothing but rave reviews of Laos for cycling and the people are proving to be a new level of quiet and friendly. In Thailand it feels like paper work and money issues are taken care of for you, before you have to think about it. Here, especially w/ the new confusion of Kip conversions and the fact that Baht and Kip are accepted in one place, only Kip in another and USD prices given in the next, money takes another level of patience. No one seems to mind though, as we bumble our way through the conversions they look on and smile shyly. I have no idea what is in store for us here, but looking forward to it, untimely generator hours and all.

Hope this finds you well.
Love love love.